Dark Side
by HarvestMoonFreak723
Summary: Blaine has a little hallucination about Kurt while singing "Dark Side" with the Warblers. Oneshot!


"Guys, I didn't come here to sing a song," I say, reluctance heavy in my voice. It makes me so sad to be here at Dalton again. Kurt and I met here; we first kissed here; this is where we fell in love.

I'm with the New Directions now. Singing with the Warblers wouldn't just betray them, it would remind me of being one with Kurt. Everything reminds me of Kurt. I can't escape his memory at McKinley, and I sure as hell can't at Dalton.

But Hunter has a point. I did leave the Warblers for a lot of reasons, but to be with Kurt was the top purpose. He's gone now; he broke things off after I betrayed him so horribly. What's holding me there now?

The blazer sits on my shoulders, familiar and safe, but false and fake now. All good memories of the Warblers had been tainted when I left. First with Sebastian, then the Slushie attack, which I still can't believe they'd betray us like that, and now this. When Kurt and I left, it was like we took the Warblers with us. Were they seriously doing this to get me to join them again? Seriously, make me transfer schools again, just for show choir competition?

I want to argue my point more, but they start harmonizing a song I know very, very well. It has been running through my mind ever since I did the unspeakable.

"_Uh-ooh  
Uh-oh oh, oh,_"

They were so eager to have me back. New Directions didn't treat me like this; they were always annoyed with me, and even being with Kurt wasn't enough for me to be fully accepted by them. I've always just been Kurt's boyfriend, the ex-lead Blaine Warbler, so of course I shouldn't get solos or even acknowledgment cause that would inflate my already too big ego. Now I'm just his cheating ex, the guy everyone tolerates but doesn't want.

The Warblers want me. They always have. New Directions don't, my father doesn't, and not even Kurt does anymore.

"_There's a place that I know,  
It's not pretty there and few have ever gone.  
And if I show it to you now,  
Will it make you run away?_"

I let my emotions boil over, my longing for the Warblers I once loved and relied on, my need to be accepted, my devastation that I chased my soul mate away.

My vision blurs around the Warblers; I'm aware of their movement, and that I'm dancing with them, the familiarity of acceptance and safety dragging me in. But I'm not seeing them. I'm seeing Kurt.

Beautiful, amazing, brave Kurt. The love of my life, staring at me with such pain in his breathtaking blue eyes. I know he isn't really here, he's in New York at Vogue, reapplying to NYADA, where I know he'd make it eventually. He's Kurt Hummel, he can do anything. Anything but forgive me for what I've done, anything but trust me again.

"_Will you stay?  
Even if it hurts?  
Even if I try to push you out,  
Will you return_?"

I want to sob at that. Oh how I wish the answers to these questions had been positive. He hadn't stayed; he had run from me, then at the park and again after the musical. I keep pushing him away; he isn't coming back. He didn't stay.

"_And remind me who I really am,  
Please remind me who I really am_."

I'm looking at my imagined Kurt, who is watching me intensity, his face twisted in pain as silent tears track down his porcelain cheeks. I'm singing directly to him, trying to beg him through the lyrics. Who am I really? I don't know anymore. That's why I need him so badly. I wasn't a cheater; I wasn't a betrayer. But then what am I? Kurt knows; he knows me better than myself. Or he thought he did.

"_Everybody's got a dark side,  
Do you love me?  
Can you love mine?_

_Nobody's a picture perfect,  
But we're worth it.  
You know that we're worth it."_

He shook his head slowly, and I reach out towards him gently, trying to get him to understand. Understand why I did it, how sorry I am, begging him to believe I still love him, that I know he's hurt but hoping beyond hope he still love me back.

I want him to forgive me, though I don't deserve it. Why can't he understand what happened, why it happened? That it's just as much his fault as it is mine. Why can't he remember all we've been through, realize that we're meant to be, we can't let this separate us. That our love is true, that it's worth all this pain. We are worth it.

_"Will you love me?  
Even with my dark side?"_

Why won't he forgive me? Why will he accept every other flaw and mistake I've made, but he can't love me after this?

Kurt flinches away from me, and my heart sinks. He starts backing away from me, and I follow him desperately, trying to keep him here so badly.

"_Like a diamond, from black dust;  
It's hard to know what can become,  
If you give up."_

He must have given up; he won't even let me explain anything. He just shut me out instantly, so set on the act that he didn't even let me defend myself. Doesn't he remember everything we had, everything we went through together?

_"So don't give up on me.  
Please remind me who I really am, yeah!"_

I'm chasing him around the room now, trying to reach out and hold him, to wipe away his tears. I want him to understand, I'm trying to get him to love me again. How could he give up on me so easily? God, I'm begging him so hard now. So hard.

_"Everybody's got a dark side,  
Do you love me?  
Can you love mine?_

_Nobody's a picture perfect,  
But we're worth it.  
You know that we're worth it."_

He's still trying to avoid me, his face set in a mask of pain and betrayal, and utter heartbreak. He still loves me; I can see it in his face. It wouldn't hurt so much if it didn't. I reach out, my hand finally grasping his. His eyes widen at the contact, and more tears flush out. That spark, even in my head, still sends up our connected hands, and I want to cry too.

_"Will you love me?  
Even with my dark side?"_

I reach out and gently caress his wet cheek, my eyes boring into his so desperately, pleading with my very soul. He chokes out a sob, extracting his hand as he turns and flees from me again, me hot on his heels.

_"Don't run away,  
Don't run away._

_Just tell me that you will stay."_

I reach out to pull his shoulder, and he flinches violently at the touch, shaking with his sobs. Tears leak out of my eyes, utter hatred for myself boiling in me as I hear the pain I caused.

"_Promise me you will stay."_

I want him to promise so bad, my heart is in physical pain. But I know he won't; I've broken every reason to promise. But he broke his, too. He said he'd never say goodbye to me. I made him break it.

_"Don't run away,  
Don't run away.  
Just promise me you will stay,  
Promise me you will stay."_

He's paused to turn to me, his eyes shinning from the tears. The devastation is so obvious on his beautiful features, I feel a hot knife twisting in my stomach. Hesitantly I step to him, cupping his cheek in my palm. My heart twists as his eyes squeeze tighter, giving in to temptation as he nuzzles into my hand.

"_Will you love me, with my dark side?_

_Ohh!"_

He breaks from me again, and the chase ensues again. I'm crying so freely now; I never realized just how much I loved him until I lost him. Now I'm willing to do _anything_ to have him back in my arms. _Anything_.

_"Everybody's got a dark side,  
Do you love me?  
Can you love mine?_

_Nobody's a picture perfect.  
But we're worth it.  
You know that we're worth it."_

I capture his hand again, pulling him close. I place my hands on his waist, our foreheads touching. His sobs shake my body, and I place a gentle kiss to his cheek, his chest heaving even more now. _Forgive me_.

_"Will you love me?  
Even with my dark side?"_

He wraps his arms around me tightly, and I return the tight embrace just as fiercely. I clutch him to me protectively as he sobs, my heart breaking all over again. I can feel so much unsaid in the hug, so many emotions that can't be spoken. _I love you, I love you, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, I love you._

He breaks off finally, more gently then before. He wipes a tear from my olive skin, and I shake against him, more spilling over. Painfully slow, he retracts his hand, the phantom heat disappearing instantly and clenching my stomach. He steps back, and this time I can't make myself follow him.

_"Don't run away,  
Don't run away."_

But he does. With a sad, heartbroken smile, he turns and runs out the doors, leaving me to stand and stare at them.

The quiet is so deafening, and I turn around to see the Warblers starring at me again.

"What did I say? Flawless."

I'm too far gone to even glare at Sebastian. Kurt was here, even if only in spirit, even if only in my head while my body was on autopilot during the performance. He was here, and he spent so much of it fighting me, still so hurt, the pain still too raw.

But he still loves me. Me, Blaine Anderson. He's just stubborn, his morals of romance so firm in his head. He doesn't think it's right to forgive me, so he's not allowing himself too. But we're worth the pain. He has to forgive me one day; because while he might have broken his promise to stay, I will never leave. Even if he never returns again.

Even if he runs away forever, no matter how many times I ask him not to.

* * *

**A/N: This is literally what I see every time I hear this song. The emotion behind it and situation has literally made me cry a few times. I had to express it somehow.**


End file.
